28 Lighthearted Quotes From the Harry Potter Novels

28 Lighthearted Quotes From the Harry Potter Novels Despite the sinister plot in author J.K. Rowlings Harry Potter stories, each book has its funny moments. Characters Ron, Fred, George Weasley, and many others add funny quips along with Harry Potters witty jabs, which easily lightens up some very serious situations. And what they have to say reveals a lot about each characters personality too. We have made sure to get at least one quotation from each of the seven  books from the Harry Potter series. Test your memory: Can you recall what was going on at the time of the quote? These quotes are also great as a starting point for book discussions too. Book 1: Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone (Note: published as Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in the United Kingdom.) Dudley Dursley: They stuff peoples heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice?Harry James Potter: No, thanks. The poor toilets never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick. Fred Weasley 1st Twin: Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea.George Weasley 2nd Twin: Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it. Once - Fred Weasley 1st Twin: Or twice - George Weasley 2nd Twin: A minute - Fred Weasley 1st Twin: All summer - Percy Ignatius Weasley: Oh, shut up! Professor Minerva McGonagall: Well, thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocket watch. That way, one of you might be on time. Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore: I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I have rather lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe with a nice toffee. (eats it)...Hmm, alas, earwax. Hermione Jean Granger: (in the Devils Snare) Stop moving, both of you. This is a devils snare! You have to relax. If you dont, itll only kill you faster! Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax! Harry James Potter: So light a fire!Hermione Jean Granger: Yes... of course... but theres no wood!Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT! Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: A Study of Hogwarts Prefects and Their Later Careers. That sounds fascinating. Fred Weasley 1st Twin: Oh get out of the way, Percy. Harrys in a hurry.George Weasley 2nd Twin: Yeah, hes off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant. Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Why spiders? Why couldnt it be follow the butterflies? Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we couldve hit, he had to get one that hits back. Draco Lucius Malfoy: Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?Harry James Potter: Yeah, reckon so.Draco Lucius Malfoy: Got plenty of special features, hasnt it? Shame it doesnt come with a parachute in case you get too near a Dementor. (Crabbe and Goyle sniggered)Harry James Potter: Pity you cant attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy. Then it could catch the Snitch for you. Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Right, youve got a crooked sort of cross†¦ (consulting Unfogging the Future) That means youre going to have trials and suffering - sorry about that - but theres a thing that could be a sun†¦ hang on†¦ that means great happiness†¦so youre going to suffer but be very happy†¦Harry James Potter: You need your Inner Eye tested if you ask me†¦ Professor Remus  John  Lupin: Now repeat after me - without wands please - repeat after me, Riddikulus.Class: Riddikulus!Professor Remus  John  Lupin: And again!Class: Riddikulus!Draco Lucius Malfoy: This class is ridiculous. Hermione Jean Granger: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats, you know.Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Yeah, along with the dung beetle. Professor Sybill Trelawney: The study of Divination will give you the rare gift of SIGHT! (stands up, and promptly bumps into her table) Professor Sybill Trelawney: Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley (whispering to Harry James Potter): I dont need help. Its obvious what this means. Theres going to be loads of fog tonight. Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley to Peter Pettigrew (with revulsion): I let you sleep in my bed! Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Fred Weasley 1st Twin: Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt. Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Dont talk to me.Hermione Jean Granger: Why not?Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Because I want to fix that in my memory forever†¦Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley (his eyes closed): Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret... Percy Ignatius Weasley: I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.Fred Weasley 1st Twin: Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?Percy Ignatius Weasley: That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway! It was nothing personal!Fred Weasley 1st Twin: (whispering to Harry Potter): It was. We sent it. Hermione Jean Granger: You seem to be drowning twice.Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Oh, am I? Id better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff. Ronald (Ron) Bilius Weasley: Poor old Snuffles. He must really like you, Harry†¦ Imagine having to live off rats. Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Luna Lovegood: No, I think Ill just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up... It always does in the end. Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore: Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are. Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Peeves: We did it, we bashed them, wee Potters the one. And Voldys gone moldy, so now lets have fun! Fred Weasley 1st Twin: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo. Enid Smeek: Shes nutty as squirrel poo. Auntie Muriel Weasley: You there, give me a chair, Im a hundred and seven!